Sunday, August 19, 2012

You were on my bad side. Now you're on my worse side.

I am in shock to find out that you spent the greater part of the time that I supposedly knew you telling people who were in our lives that I was a materialistic wife. I’m sure this wasn’t your exact phrasing considering I highly doubt you even know what materialistic means. You spread the lie that I wanted you to work all that overtime because I needed more and more stuff. What I can’t seem to understand is how the hell you manage to throw these false accusations out of your mouth and not choke on them. While I begged you to find another job that would have kept you at home more where you belonged (with your family) you continued to buy large ticket items on credit cards that you wouldn’t let me pay off and close the accounts on. You also continued to work more and more telling me that you would be fired if you didn’t. Well, I have news for you…..I wasn’t asleep in that hospital bed 4 hours after Charlee was born. I heard every word you said to your boss when you told him not to bother Luis and that you would volunteer to go into work to cover for someone else for a job that wasn’t going to be started until the next day. So when you woke me up and told me that you were being forced to go in, I knew then and there that the 7 year reign of me thinking you never lied to me was up.

You have also made it clear to me recently that you are the one spreading the common belief to my family and friends that I am a bad mother. I never could figure out where these imbeciles got these ridiculous ideas from but apparently all along it was the king of all imbeciles just regurgitating his bullshit right into their gullets. Well please allow me to shine some light on how stupid your claim is. Very recently, for the umpteenth time, you told me that on your night to have the girls you were working out of town and wouldn’t be able to take them. That statement in itself goes to show that you don’t consider yourself their father, it clearly states that I am allowing you to take my girls for the night. Aside from that matter, you also make it sound like I am at your beck and call for whenever you see fit. Well, here’s the truth: I don’t sit by my phone waiting for you to contact me and TELL me when I will be covering for your flaky ass. You wanted your joint physical custody….you got it. Decide how to handle it when you have it. I am a single mother on the days that I have my girls and I make sure that I am available for them. On occasional emergencies and extenuating circumstances, I make arrangements that are not detrimental to my children. THAT is what a GOOD parent does. It is exactly what you need to figure out now that you want to pretend to be a caring father. Then, when I tell you that I plan on working late on the nights that you have the girls (Something you obviously haven’t figured out yet) you tell me that I am a bad mother. Ha. (To quote you) How in all that is holy does me making plans on the nights that I DON’T have my girls make me a bad mother?!?! Should I follow your example and make myself never fully available to them on each and every night and ditch them on whoever is gullible enough to buy my bullshit and not tell me no? Or does the fact that I am unwilling to bend over backwards for you anymore what makes me a bad mother?? Because maybe in the archaic idea of a marriage your idiotic parents spoon fed you, it would lead you to believe that it makes me a bad wife, but that really isn’t your or my problem anymore, now is it? Oh and my favorite part: When I still don’t succumb to your insults, you go ahead and tell me that I can give up full custody of my girls to you and not have to do another thing ever. REALLY?? Really?!?!?! NEVER?!?!?!?!?!?!?! So……riddle me this: How in the world do you think you can EVER take care of anything full time? You couldn’t even keep the goldfish my girls picked out for your Christmas present alive for more than a month and you claim that was because of work taking you away too much. Sooooooo, if you have my girls full time, who do you plan on telling they have to take them for the night, two nights, a week, when you get called out of town?? Hmmmmm????? If you can’t handle the 35% that you fought so hard to get, how do you think you could ever handle the other 65%? There’s really no need to answer this, because the fact that the only thing that ever mattered to you since the day I met you was money, I instantly knew the reason why you would ever consider wanting full custody. The two subsequent texts only validated my reasoning. You don’t want to pay child support. You never did. Which is why when we first split up you hardly paid me squat. I was reduced to sleeping on an air mattress, burning wood pellets for heat, and ruining two of the best friendships I’ve ever had by renting rooms to them. Now, please tell me how I’m materialistic……

From this day on, I REFUSE to allow you to bully me, threaten me, or scare me into doing as you say. You were mentally abusive when we were married and unfortunately, you still know how to do it, but I now see exactly what you do and I won’t be weak anymore. I no longer care what people think of me because if they want to form an opinion of me with only one half of the story, then those are people I don’t want anywhere near my happy life anyway. So, please, go ahead and spread all the lies you need in order to feel validated in being the asshole you always will be. (My girls will eventually see you for what you really are)